Recommended Read: The Chimp Paradox

March 2017 by Prof Steve Peters

Here are 10 nuggets from the book:

1. Some people will like everything that you do; some people will hate everything that you do. Most people won’t really give a shit.

2. You are never presented with a stimulus that forces a behaviour. All stimuli are invitations to act in a particular manner. You can tell the inviter where to stick the invitation. (Please don’t unsubscribe!)

3. It’s perfectly normal to lose your temper from time to time. Be like Baden-Powell and don’t beat yourself up when it happens.

4. Always look for confirming and disconfirming evidence before you react to others. The human needs facts to ground it; the chimp prefers its own suppositions.

5. You need very, very few people in your troupe. You need to look after them.

6. When faced with frustrating moments, project yourself into the future and ask yourself how much Future You will really give a damn about what is causing the frustration. Most times we stress over the most trivial nonsense. Perspective, Picasso! Perspective!

7. Being the best you can be is not the same as being the best.

8. Guilt serves no purpose whatsoever. Abandon it, like a weak Spartan baby. Done something wrong? Apologise and try to put it right. If the other person doesn’t want to forgive you, that’s their problem, not yours.

9. Got a problem in life? Look at these possible causes in this order: 1. You 2. The circumstances behind the situation 3. Other people. Always ask yourself, what can I do differently that might get me a more desirable outcome? Stop asking yourself, What should others be doing?

10. Look to replace the word should with the word could. This is not an inviolable rule. Sometimes it is only appropriate to think of what should happen. But we tend to make this the first (and sometimes the only) option.